And One Day She Revealed ......... A Terrible Secret

I'm quite strange, heres some things you might not know about me...

- I get dizzy walking down stationary escalators, really dizzy
- I love eating frozen cake, or lamingtons
- I talk to my cat like he's a person
- I love Cheds, they're cheese biscuits, in a blue box, I could eat several hundred of them I think
- I laugh when I'm uncomfortable, or when I don't know what to say. I've been known to laugh when somebody had a fit in front of me and also when I broke a friends thumb
- I have a phobia of maths, really, whenever I have to add or subtract or do any equation the numbers get jumbled in my head and I get quite upset. I Hate Maths
- Despite my hatered of all things mathematical, I can't stop counting (in my head) when I'm making things, when I'm bored...always
- I have not one but two super secret crushes and sadly neither of them actually is a physical being 1. even though he's a murderer and a wife beater and a thief and a crook, I find Bill Sykes ( bad guy in Oliver, killed Nancy, steals things for Fagin) to be oddly attractive. 2. also a murderer and a weird guy, Raskolnikov in Dostoyevskys Crime and Punishment, he's quiet and super intelligent and Russian. Both secret crushes (maybe thats not the best word) are murderers, is that odd?
- I sing in my car which probably everyone does, but I song especially loud at night and when I'm driving fast - because nobody can hear me
- I hate standing on cracks or lines in the ground, I can handle walking on tiles but only if I'm going in a specific pattern
- Generally, children irritate me, especially confident ones, I don't hate them, some of them I like; but the ones that scream or talk or run around or have weird teeth shit me
- I listen to Magic 693 ( now 1278 the new magic) and I know the words to the songs
- I know the words to alot of songs, and I don't know how, old songs, new songs, the words are just there
- At least once a week I cry about the fact that I'm not driving my car
- I hate coffee, but love chocolate covered beans. I hate mandarins but love oranges. I hate red apples but love green apples

That Small Children Were Really Quite Evil

The past week or two has had more ups and downs than ........anything (to say a rollercoaster would be too predictable and I can't think of anything else) so I thought maybe this is a good place to vent and gloat .... I don't like the word gloat- heres words you can use instead of gloat celebrate, crow*, exult, glory, hee-haw, horse laugh, rejoice, relish, revel in, triumph, vaunt, whoop*, blow one's own horn, congratulate oneself, boast, brag, crow, grandstand, hug oneself, pat oneself on the back, toot one's own horn, advertise, aggrandize, attract attention, blow, bluster, bullshit, bully, crow, exaggerate, exult, fake, flatter oneself, flaunt, flourish, gasconade, gloat, glory, grandstand*, hug oneself*, jive*, prate, preen, psych*, puff*, shoot*, shovel*, show off, showboat*, shuck*, sling*, sound off, strut, swagger, talk big*, triumph, vapor* I could go on but won't, the word gloat reminds me of a swollen goat anyway.......

Bad Things
-one of my favourite people left work and it's going to SUCK without him
-my uncle died which is bad but good because he isn't suffering any more
-someone else at work is just doing everything wrong and everybodsy else is copping shit for it
-today was an assesment at school and I... woke up late, forgot essential equipment, got sold a MEAT FILLED PRODUCT OF MEATY DEATH when I was told it was not a MEAT FILLED PRODUCT OF MEATY DEATH, forgot my hat and had to walk 10 minutes back to my car which I wouldn't have minded but I was already late, had to do the assesment in a room that is not accomodating to chocolate tempering ( airconditioning, no hot water, no stove top, limited bench space)
-kind of had an argument with a friend which I'm only just getting over
-am still driving the retarded red car
-had to go to the doctors which included getting poked in the ribs, having to pee in a cup, GETTING POKED IN THE RIBS, and concluded with her telling me I have to have an ultrasound
- I have two pieces of work due tomorrow which I haven't looked at yet ( I really haven't)

Good Things
-I got A's for my sugar and chocolate assesments and 'excellents' for my written work which I kind of feel bad for because I did them the night before but hey I did them
-my uncles funeral which was really really sad (really really) but also good because I got to see all of the family that I don't really ever see
-saw my cousin Jordan who is 5 and EVIL, seriously, he told me: to go home and piss my pants, that when he grew up he was going to turn into a monster and kill me, found a fun game which included running from one side of the room to where I was sitting and jumping on me (and recruiting the rest of his cousins in the game) but then he told me that because it was his game he makes up the rules and so he had to sit next to me, told my sister she kisses her brother and my favourite told my dad to go home and lay and egg and throw it at his mother which was followed by him pretending to be a chicken for at least 3 minutes
-had the BEST shopping day ever - $500 worth of stuff for $190
-my boss has been in a good mood all week which make life so much easier
-got to see my favourite friends that I've known since I was 15 ( althought that meant I had to work two 12 hour shifts in a 48 hour period with NO SLEEP AT ALL)
-yesterday, for the first time in a long time I had a break at work..... Super!

probably alot of other things have happened but I can't remember and this is already a very long post

Then She Decided

It's strange how other people can dramatically influence the way you feel. No matter how important or unimportant this person is to you.
You (or me) can be having the best day, and then suddenly for no apparent reason - although you may have had an inkling that it was coming - she (or he) says something that just makes you think, Why?
Sometimes I don't know why I bother with friends, not that I don't like them or think they're not important, but whenever they walk over me, make a fool of me, ridicule me etc etc... (and it has often happened) I still want them to like me; and I don't want them to not be friends with me any more. I don't know why, I feel like if I lose the friends I have, no matter how awful they can be to me, I won't find any others.